Page 1 of 365. A New Year with a brand new website. The year of Me. In 2012 that I hit rock bottom but I climbed up a long way since and I'm still climbing. Learning about my autism has made me understand and help myself. I've grown a lot and will keep doing so in 2015. Before starting this new book, let's take a look at the old one. See here my year 2014 summed up in 20 questions and answers:
1. What food did you eat most often this year? Potatoe chips. They’re great for getting my blood pressure back up although usually I eat them because I crave carbohydrates. Can’t help it…
2. What grossed you out this year? Other people’s mess and dirt. It took me a week to clean my new appartement just to make sure I erased any bacteria the former owners might have left. And when my roommate does the dishes I often do them again when she doesn’t notice, especially the glasses.
3. What was your go to stim? I still bite myself when I’m anxious and I pinch myself when I’m getting angry but I’m doing it less often. I don’t think I have any happy stims, at least not any that I’m aware of.
4. Did you change any habits/or switch routines this year or stay the same? I changed appartements because of problems with my roommate at the old one. I did the transition in small steps so it wouldn’t be traumatic. Then after, when shool and work started I was a bit off for some time but I soon found my sense of routine again.
5. Did you do anything that surprised your family or friends? I became guide and helper to the Erasmus students (luckily there’s only 4) because that way I am in charge of activities, I am the go-to person who knows everything, and it’s an easier way to make friends. So it seemed I was doing something social for once but actually I am just helping myself…
6. Did you do anything that surprised yourself? I started wearing jeans for the first time since I was three and announced that they were itchy and I didn’t like the feel of the texture. I now own three pairs and am getting used to the itching because its better than complaining how my cotton pants are too big or too old.
7. What was your favorite thing you learned? I learned to be a bit more assertive (even though I have a very long way to go). I learned that I don’t need a psychologist for this, as she told me the same things I can read in the books I bought. I am now able to ask for information or help in different situation (at least when I prepare myself and am not too overwhelmed at the moment).
8. Did you talk to anyone interesting? Most new people I met are interesting in their own way. But the interesting at the moment is this guy in my ethnomusicology class because he’s great at having discussions based upon facts and not on the will to have a discussion.
9. What was your favorite article of clothing? My T-shirts, which are all the same but in different colors, are an easy way to get dressed in the morning. But I also like my new winter wardrobe, my jeans, and especially the new long cardigans which I can rap myself in. And so on, and so forth, and what have you… Actually I had a great clothing year!
10. What was one thing that made you mad? A former roommate getting involved in some weird self-help thing. My current roommate reading an autists autobiography and then laughing about it with the other roommate without even considering that those things the author was talking about could’ve happened to me (they have heard I’m an Aspie but they don’t realise that that’s just what people say because it sounds better than autism). Those are two moments I pinched myself so hard I almost started bleeding.
11. What was one thing that made you really happy? To pass the musicology entrance exam. And I’m enjoying it a lot.
12. What was/were your special interest/interests this year? Same as always: music and books. But I now ‘specialised’ in Spanish children’s songs and starting with music psychology and changing from psychology books (autism, assertiveness, self-confidence) to musicology and classic literature.
13. What stim toys did you use? I love the magnetic spinning wheel: http://www.scientificsonline.com/product/magnet-space-wheel
14. Where was your favorite place to visit this year? I loved my walks to the beach this summer, especially those days there wasn’t anyone on the beach yet when I arrived.
15. Where did you spend the most time? In my bedroom, hoping my flatmate would leave so I could cook or do laundry without her giving me ugly looks.
16. What tv character did you identify with most this year? Brick Heck from The Middle. I don’t completely identify but I sure do like him a lot.
17. What show did you binge watch? Elementary, another relatable show. Gilmore Girls (again), Sabrina the Teenage Witch (again), Full House (again), Big Bag Theory (again) That’s what happens if you don’t have a tv.
18. Did you do anything new this year that you hope to do more of? I hope to not longer be the girl that always agrees, never complains, but never gets a single thank you. I said NO last week and I hope to do it again because even though I was scared, I felt good afterwards.
19. What did you do to help with meltdowns? If it was from being overwhelmed I would run and find a quiet place to sit, cry, and rock to calm myself down. I it was a depression melt down I would sit on my bed, eat chips and binge watch a tv show. And then there’s my enemy the migraine (a cocktail of sensory overload, stress and sometimes some hormones) which I had to fight a few times with pain killers to keep functioning when I didn’t have the option of staying in bed.
20. What song did you listen to the most? Always something else. Although I did notice not so long ago that Canto Ostinato by Simeon ten Holt is really soothing and relaxing. Probably because it’s minimalism (but also because it’s just really good). That’s why I have the music of Wim Mertens on repeat these days.
1. What food did you eat most often this year? Potatoe chips. They’re great for getting my blood pressure back up although usually I eat them because I crave carbohydrates. Can’t help it…
2. What grossed you out this year? Other people’s mess and dirt. It took me a week to clean my new appartement just to make sure I erased any bacteria the former owners might have left. And when my roommate does the dishes I often do them again when she doesn’t notice, especially the glasses.
3. What was your go to stim? I still bite myself when I’m anxious and I pinch myself when I’m getting angry but I’m doing it less often. I don’t think I have any happy stims, at least not any that I’m aware of.
4. Did you change any habits/or switch routines this year or stay the same? I changed appartements because of problems with my roommate at the old one. I did the transition in small steps so it wouldn’t be traumatic. Then after, when shool and work started I was a bit off for some time but I soon found my sense of routine again.
5. Did you do anything that surprised your family or friends? I became guide and helper to the Erasmus students (luckily there’s only 4) because that way I am in charge of activities, I am the go-to person who knows everything, and it’s an easier way to make friends. So it seemed I was doing something social for once but actually I am just helping myself…
6. Did you do anything that surprised yourself? I started wearing jeans for the first time since I was three and announced that they were itchy and I didn’t like the feel of the texture. I now own three pairs and am getting used to the itching because its better than complaining how my cotton pants are too big or too old.
7. What was your favorite thing you learned? I learned to be a bit more assertive (even though I have a very long way to go). I learned that I don’t need a psychologist for this, as she told me the same things I can read in the books I bought. I am now able to ask for information or help in different situation (at least when I prepare myself and am not too overwhelmed at the moment).
8. Did you talk to anyone interesting? Most new people I met are interesting in their own way. But the interesting at the moment is this guy in my ethnomusicology class because he’s great at having discussions based upon facts and not on the will to have a discussion.
9. What was your favorite article of clothing? My T-shirts, which are all the same but in different colors, are an easy way to get dressed in the morning. But I also like my new winter wardrobe, my jeans, and especially the new long cardigans which I can rap myself in. And so on, and so forth, and what have you… Actually I had a great clothing year!
10. What was one thing that made you mad? A former roommate getting involved in some weird self-help thing. My current roommate reading an autists autobiography and then laughing about it with the other roommate without even considering that those things the author was talking about could’ve happened to me (they have heard I’m an Aspie but they don’t realise that that’s just what people say because it sounds better than autism). Those are two moments I pinched myself so hard I almost started bleeding.
11. What was one thing that made you really happy? To pass the musicology entrance exam. And I’m enjoying it a lot.
12. What was/were your special interest/interests this year? Same as always: music and books. But I now ‘specialised’ in Spanish children’s songs and starting with music psychology and changing from psychology books (autism, assertiveness, self-confidence) to musicology and classic literature.
13. What stim toys did you use? I love the magnetic spinning wheel: http://www.scientificsonline.com/product/magnet-space-wheel
14. Where was your favorite place to visit this year? I loved my walks to the beach this summer, especially those days there wasn’t anyone on the beach yet when I arrived.
15. Where did you spend the most time? In my bedroom, hoping my flatmate would leave so I could cook or do laundry without her giving me ugly looks.
16. What tv character did you identify with most this year? Brick Heck from The Middle. I don’t completely identify but I sure do like him a lot.
17. What show did you binge watch? Elementary, another relatable show. Gilmore Girls (again), Sabrina the Teenage Witch (again), Full House (again), Big Bag Theory (again) That’s what happens if you don’t have a tv.
18. Did you do anything new this year that you hope to do more of? I hope to not longer be the girl that always agrees, never complains, but never gets a single thank you. I said NO last week and I hope to do it again because even though I was scared, I felt good afterwards.
19. What did you do to help with meltdowns? If it was from being overwhelmed I would run and find a quiet place to sit, cry, and rock to calm myself down. I it was a depression melt down I would sit on my bed, eat chips and binge watch a tv show. And then there’s my enemy the migraine (a cocktail of sensory overload, stress and sometimes some hormones) which I had to fight a few times with pain killers to keep functioning when I didn’t have the option of staying in bed.
20. What song did you listen to the most? Always something else. Although I did notice not so long ago that Canto Ostinato by Simeon ten Holt is really soothing and relaxing. Probably because it’s minimalism (but also because it’s just really good). That’s why I have the music of Wim Mertens on repeat these days.